snorfed at
9:07 PM
Today's outline of events..just because I'm super lazy...
Wake up...stoned...Went out...Met up the rest(siok, qiang, tsz, jastay, sarly)..took bus to nic's place...met nic's really nice parents again..stayed there for like half the day...played cards..won abit of $$...left...took bus to jeremy's place...realised his mum and nic's mum same pattern de..must be becoz they know each other...next paragraph? nah...stoned at jeremy's place..played cards..lost more $$ then i won earlier...ate pizza...watched Constantine for the dunno-th time...went down..played volleyball...walked to bus stop...took bus..go home...sit down...type entry...
there..my day in 5 minutes..
Cheers...ching chang chong...
snorfed at
11:18 PM
I've realised alot of things, and yet I've learnt nothing.
I've tried to change things, but I've never succeeded.
I've tried to listen, but I end up only hearing.
I've approached so many times, each time I fall back.
Slience myself? Would that help?
I don't know my family.
I don't know my friends.
I'm a Stranger. Unsure of everything.
How does one trust what he doesn't know?
What they like? Who are they? Superficial? Deep?
How they think?
Multiple layered shields for my protection from myself?
Hollow laughter. Faked smiles. Keep up the pretence.
Till I find myself. Within the depths of my soul.
Music, my solace. Singing my release.
Solitary in my essence. Extroverted in my outer shell.
Cryptic I am not. Open is my soul.
I shall win her over. I will prove my worth.
I will protect, I will create.
snorfed at
9:49 PM
Today was great? We went to Vil'age (marche with another name) to celebrate Lavi's b'dae early. Was damn fun. Bo xiong was so blur. When the waitress asked him if she could clear the plates, he placed the packet of sugar he was holding into her outstretched hand. Its was such a stupidly funny scene!! He's sooooo blur!
Then after that it started to like dull down. People started leaving left and right. Siok, sharon, sarly left almost immediately. Then after walking abit, jastsz left, lijing left, yan han left...In the end only left jeremy, BX, Qiang, Crys, Lavi, cass and me.
We walked around shopping. Those girls have extremely expensive taste. OMG. They can really spend money. We walked into Zara, Armarni X and all the slightly high end places. Then they were like gushing over a pair of shoes that cost 4 digits. Totally unfanthomable.
In the end, only BX got some pants at taka. The 3 girls wanted to leave but Bx, qiang and I still needed to get some stuff. So we parted ways with the girls and jeremy. We(qiang, bx, me) made our way down to Bugis Street.
There was such a huge crowd at the traffic light. In the end when the light changed, we jumped the fence. LOL! Qiang like got stuck so bx and I waited for him to appear. Managed to really shop for jeans and tops. I grabbed 2 jeans, rather nice jeans I might add, a chain and a red top.
$(40+33+10+18)=$101
Not bad considering that I was contemplating spending the $150 I got from dad to buy jeans at Levi's. So, Thankyou you, bx. Haha.
Hilarious. Bx and Nic die also didn't want to get a shirt. So when qiang and I were looking at shirts, bx was complaining his ass off.
Qiang got a pair of jeans and a few really cool shirts, bx got a few t shirts, jersey and a pair of jeans. Its nice to go shopping with guys. We look at stuff we need or want, buy, go. HAHA..
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Congrats to all those who took their O level results and are happy with it. So, belle is happy with her 8. Haha..congrats girl..=)
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I think I'm in it deep,
She makes my heart beat.
It seems just not long ago,
I was still floating in limbo.
Then she walked into my life,
through that very door.
she looked me in the eye,
and she said, "Hi!"
It took me by surprise,
to see her smiling at me.
My heart then took a ride,
on the whirlwinds of ecstacy.
now on and on i tumbled and fell.
So hard for her that it seemed,
that there were bells ringing.
ding dong, ding dong, ding...
Now I see her everyday,
Not that anything has changed.
I still say HI and wave goodbye,
but my heart just can't deny.
I haven't the guts to tell her,
I haven't the guts to show her,
I haven't the guts to reveal,
that I care.
For love is something I can't fanthom.
For I am young and know not life.
Bounded in shackles of the world.
I cry at night, or does my heart just die?
reborn in the day, to die in the night.
day by day, it hurts to say...
Goodbye...
snorfed at
11:19 PM
I was told today that some people thought I was being mean about my friends. But I never referred to them what. My classmates are the best and my friends rocks my socks.
People have days when they have bad moods. Its natural. I can't be all happy and not-giving-a-damn all the time. So if you were offended, haha, too bad. You blur and misunderstood me is your problem. If I really unhappy with anybody, it'll show on my face and I'll give it to you, no holds barred. Think my tolerance limit grew abit.
I did the stupid personality test thing. Im a ESFP. Extrovert, sensing, feeling, perceiving. Whatever that means. Oh if you want to do the quiz, go to http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp.
It seems that I can't think straight as in linear and I can't be coherent. I am random and crappy. Better than some people..won't get boyfren..hor? lj? LOL!!
Today we had some lame test to see the level of english the KI students have. Total lame shit. They gave us a GP paper. I have never done a GP paper b4. Think I failed. LOL.
Then we had a dialogue session with a ministar of trade and finance. Not bad trying to make us feel that the gah-men is doing a great job. For one, I'm convinced. Total propaganda? No. More like credit due lah. That ministar damn own man. Havard sia.
Vans-tine's Day is around the corner.
I smell roses and many many flower.
And see all the little boys flounder.
Trying real hard to get wit her.
They all think that a flower will do.
make the girls go gaa gaa goo.
But they miss out on their hairdo.
all looking like some goondu.
I may join all the goondus
ask any cute girl, that will do
give her roses and flower.
maybe that will win her.
Over.
snorfed at
8:54 PM
Its going to be a self centered post. But isn't that what a blog was designed for?
I don't like confrontations. I don't like to push my point when its painfully obvious that you cannot accept any other idea apart from your own. Its hard to work on anything when the people you are with are unable to stop, and listen to another's ideas and opinions.
I can say that because I have learnt to listen. Even if I don't like what they say, I let them finish their explanation. I used to think it was a sign that maybe I grew a little. Maybe it still is. So does that imply that they are still at the stage I was?
I believe in the idea that growth and progress can only be made when there are 2 points that have conflicting ideas. It need not be total confrontations but at least differences. Synthesis is the keyword.
Person to person interaction. Have I failed in that? Tone of voice and language and body posture. If I have offended you before in any of these areas, I ask for forgiveness even though it is not forgivable. Tone determines everything that the other perceives. It is here where people are often pissed off about.
Today. I walked away many times. Not because I was angry at people or their way of actions but rather to prevent myself from saying something wrong. If they their ideas fit and beautiful, who am I to insist no? But to put foward my idea, YES! I am entitled to that much.
I laugh with you, I smile when you call me birdhead. Its all benign humour. I appear to be unaffected. Rubber. With a soft squishy core. I like myself to be that way. NO. I will remember from now on. Forgive all but remember them.
There will always be F-ing B*****ds in the world. F-ing B***hes also. If I am able to resist, I am a step above you losers.
My friends. No one is like me. Unique in the world, I stand. Change comes and goes. Fluidity in the essence of the unmoving. Stoic in the flow of the world. Marching to the beat of my own drum. I'll see you at the end.
HEAVEN KNOWS
Rick Price
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up
Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holdin' on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows
Such a nice song. Meaning holds nothing to me. Music is all that matters.
snorfed at
8:38 PM
Every time I take the bus, I like the sky to be grey. It seems nice to just stare out of the window, looking at the mass of greyness in the sky and feel all emo. With like rock ballads or some lovey-dovey chinese music playing into my head via my headphones, it feels so nice.
Then along the way, I see people rushing around like little wound-up toys, heading along aimlessly to their unknown destinations(at least to me lah).
Times like this, I think about what I never dared to say, never dared to do, whether I closed my bedroom window in case of rain, whether my house will explode because maybe I forgot to turn off the gas even though I didn't turn it on.
Think..Think..Worry..Worry..Act cool...Act cool..Emo..Emo..
Then "Ding-Dong" goes the bus bell thingy and I have to get off the bus to go to school, everything in the bus forgotten and shoved to the back of my mind.
Thats why, I prefer rainy nights when theres like a total thunderstorm. I lie on my sofa which is just beside my bedroom window, and stare out at the dark, dark sky. The rhythmic rain washing the world washes my mind at the same time. Its really soothing, the rhythm of the rainfall. Sets people sleeping. For me, I like the way it makes me relaxed and able to think about an idea for slightly longer periods of time rather than the 5 seconds I usually take per idea. That's why I alwauys sound incoherent. I can't think on an idea for too long. I get bored.
Tomorrow is the college road race thingy where we wear house tees and go "run" at some park. For some stupid reason, the school has always held it at Bedok reservior even though the school is in Pasir Ris!! This year, however, it would be held at Pasir Ris park which is 10 minutes away from home. HAHA!! Boo to those living far away.
So I'm meeting some of the guys at pasir ris interchange tomorrow at 7. Great reason they gave. "We don't know how to get to the exact place." So they sorta need a guide. LOL! Feel like meeting them at a easier place.
Update on battle with demons of illness.
1) Diarrhoea monster has been vanquished.
2)Fever hordes are still at the gates but has been pushed back somewhat.
3)Weak legs are still around.
4)Forces are losing strength, unable to exert force.
5)Head is occasionally bombed by..well..bombs.
Route to recovery(%): 68
End of Update.
Not all things can be said.
Not all things can be done.
When I try to say or do.
Please not let me be undone.
Cheers people!!
snorfed at
9:03 PM
Yesterday
Uuuugh..yesterday totally sucked!! Imagine going to the toilet every 20-30 minutes. DIARRHOEA!! I started feeling weird on the bus. Went before assembly, went before KI during free period, went right at the start of chem lect, before bio tutorial, and lost count after that.
Damn siao man. Go until my legs were wobbly. Actually not that bad lah. More like there was lesser energy in them. I actually wanted to pon sch 1. Budden had a maths test so was like Ahh!-what-the-heck, go home after the test. Then was told that the test was the last period. Luckily the last period was at 12+ so it was ok.
Got home, crapped more. Slpt till dinner time, developed a fever and got so stoned I slept again at 8+.
today
Woke up with a headache. Went to see doc. Went a few more times. Took meds. Wrote in blog. Visited blogs. Tried to mug. Failed badly. Haha. Think I'll be back in sch tomorrow.
Cheers..=s
snorfed at
4:35 PM