Labels: A levels, determination, failure, MYE
snorfed at
3:05 PM
Here's the video of bo xiong being chased by lijin for koping her hp to try and send us the pic jason took.
snorfed at
9:32 PM
I finally got the song that the band recorded for Shirlyn. Must bug her for the cd containing all her other songs. haha! We sound rather noobish leh. Maybe I'm too critical but who cares? We are noobs mah. I'll try to upload the song so that you can hear it. Maybe it'll be super noisy. haha. Oh, and I cant stop listening to it. Haha. Im so proud of The 5ifth. haha!
WE ROCK!
Maybe abit over the top le..haha
snorfed at
10:28 PM
Woohoo, this is great. My mother changed her handphone no. some time back. Then I forgot to update the change in the school's database. Now for the parent teacher meeting where my parents have to meet either the VP or P, they called my dad up. Its like totally pointless to ask him to go. He never bothers to try and understand anything. He likes to just stand there, looking at the final product, and comment on it based on the little knowledge and understand that permeated his entire existence.
I used to think that I'm just ignoring his existence. I think its only now that I realised his existence is affecting me. When he's around, I feel so angry. There's so much anger welling up within me. I know its wrong to feel this way, but I can't help it. I'm angry at how he does things, how he doesn't bother to understand, how he treats the family, etc.
I can't wait for the day when I can survive on my own and get him as far away from my person and mind as possible. I'm sorry if this offends anybody who thinks that a father-son relationship should be, at the very least, cordial. Its just that I have had a lot to bear for a long time and up till now, that has not changed much.
I'm going to mug my ass off, not because I want to please him. Maybe Mum. Haha. She's worth it. Not him. Never him. Missed the part in my life when things around me would mean a lot in my life, thats your problem. I've done fine without you for those years, there's no difference whether you are back or not.
Still, I blame myself for my totally shitty results for MYE. MUG HARD. MUG SMART. OWN THE WORLD, NO CHANCES.
snorfed at
10:27 PM
3 words..
OH MY GOD!
snorfed at
8:41 PM
Total failure. So this is what being a failure feels like. Well, I don't know how people live with this kinda shitty feeling but I can tell you it sure sucks BIG TIME. Failing all 4 of my H2's. Thats a first. PLUS, I never scored above like 40% for any subject. WOOHOO. This is so exciting. Im probably going to have some coffee over Ms Lai's table with my mother beside me. What can I say? I deserve the grades. I didn't study at all. I had totally no drive during June. Nothing went in. My heart is sinking to the bottom of the abyss called Despair. Imagine getting 11/60 and 26/60 for KI. I'm like a total loser now. Not that I'm going to brush this aside like I did with all my other disappointments. This is too big. I am actually feeling pain. Wow. Mr Rubber Man feels pain. Nothing hurts me. I'm the epitome of indifference. Now I feel like a loser. Damn, this is huge. What a time. Not that its her fault. Its my stupid fault. I blame myself for not studying at all. Where did my drive go? Is it because there' no competition or have I resigned myself to loseing all the time to people like yiqiang and jason? I don't think I all that bad right? I have the intellect required for the A levels. I definitely have to use this as my motivation. Waiting for inspiration and motivation to fall out of the sky is like waiting for gold to fall into my lap. Sorry guys, there won't be anymore jam sessions till we settled our A's. I don't want to flunk like I did for MYE. Whee. OMG, ranting like a total demented freak does help in think somethings through. Why didn't I ever do this before? Furthermore, this post is so damn long, I highly doubt anybody would bother reading through the wohle thing. Spiderweb styled thinking is the way my mind, or I, operate. Can you, Reader, understand my trail of thoughts? I feel much calmer now. No longer so depressed like a total moron. Thank you for taking the time to read this to the end. YOu have been a good friend. There'll probably be no need to mention this anymore.
snorfed at
5:25 PM
Crap man. This rumbling in the distance sounds like a thousand troubles charging towards me. But how do I make them see? That what they want is just beyond me. I burned my bridges and I fled to sea. My tiny dingy is all I have with me. Please don't try to make things trying and sappy. I am but only me. Wheeeeee.
snorfed at
8:24 AM
Exams..
A quick message, a beep on the phone.
A quick glance, an encouraging note.
A quick reply, a heartfelt thankyou
A quick heartbeat, an eternity of warmth.
Sometimes we try, and sometimes we don't.
Sometimes we cry, and tears start to flow.
Sometimes we sing, and words begin to soar.
Sometimes we think, abd thoughts flourish.
Simple times, simple relationships.
Hard times, strained ties.
Exam times, we just wanna die.
Find time to enjoy, unwind, and relax.
snorfed at
9:43 PM