Me...my life...my thoughts...and...

2008-01-01T21:46:00.000+08:00

Dear Readers,

Thank you for staying with me for all this time. I have recently shifted my blog to http://shadedme.wordpress.com. My older posts will remain here.

Thanks

2007-11-26T20:54:00.000+08:00

Today was fun! Playing soccer with the guys from 4B felt rather nostalgic. It would have been better if the rest of the guys turned up, but they had school stuff and such. Playing at this really ulu place called Cages at Kallang near the stadium was really cool. Imagine indoor soccer court, with synthetic grass, and fan, and blasting music. Kinda like playing fifa. LOL.

Then the road flooded. And flooded. And it poured. And flooded into the building. So, we decided to zhao from that place. Totally yucks man, flood until above ankle. You couldnt really make out where the drain was, where the pavement ended and the road started. So, Shao Jie fell in leaving like his head above the pavement. Oh, and his phone died. Kenneth fell in too, and got a really yucky cut(s). We ran to the KFC near the stadium and their Manager was nice enough to make a makeshift bandage for him. Obviously after lunch, we took a cab and he went to the doctor's. $60. I think the clinic ripped him off. Madness.

These were taken during our first break. As you can see, I'm super out of shape and thus the shaky hands.

Oh yeah, did I mention? As it rained, it flooded into the room. Pictures of the court and the flooded room. I think slippers were floating around like tiny boats and outside the black trashbin, the big kind, was floating around too. Just didnt manage to shoot that.

and more pictures..either I was bored or trying to be arty farty (and failed) or taking pics of the cat eating my chicken bones.

Arty farty..

and the cat...

I'm tired..I'll be back tomorrow with pics from Tsz shan's bbq..

2007-11-18T19:12:00.000+08:00

The weird event caused by the bird's nest outside my mom's room, behind the air-con compressor.

I was lying on the floor, nonchalently chatting with my mom who was on the bed. Then a scream erupted from her gaping mouth!

Ahhh!! There was an earthworm beside my head!

So I picked it up and threw it out of the window.

The end.

Stupid mother bird. Next time feed your chicks properly and don't let the earthworms escape and crawl into the house. On hindsight, I should have dumped the worm into the nest hor? Too late.

2007-11-13T22:41:00.001+08:00

I'm insecure. It's been some time since the start of the A levels. There are only 3 papers left to do. 3. How are those going to help me?

Everynight for awhile now, I lie thinking about the moment I receive my results slip next year. In my army uniform and my botak head, surrounded by happy faces with all of them holding on to wonderful results and I wonder to myself,

"Did I just waste 2 years of my life? Oh no! What am I to do? Is it over? Am I going to retake and do subjects like GP and Econs which I've either not done before or never at all? Or am I going to poly after NS? What would my family say? Should I go home?..."

It's easy to envision such scenes appearing over and over again, akin to a jumpy video set on loop. I can see it so clearly, my friends coming over asking, "How did you do?". Then, placing their hands on my shoulder saying that its not that bad.

I could just slump in a corner of the hall until a teacher walks over to give advice, or I could walk out of the hall, turn off my mobile phone, and roll under a rock to rot. Yet, who is to blame?

I am to blame for what has happened. It only dawned upon me the enormity of the examinations that I am taking after my Mathematics Paper 2. It was too late for Math. I made careless errors for Chem. My mini thesis or aka Independent Study was a mess. I mean, it all seemed so provincial and fleeting. A brief moment in time that felt like a flash. Immaterial and barely existing.

To say the least, the past two years felt empty and hollow as if something were missing. The corporeal body of my jc life, my achievements (or lack thereof) lacking in spirit. Drained, almost. I lacked the foresight to see beyond what was infrontof me. Those the leadership positions which I gave up on before even trying, those incomplete or copied assignments, those lectures I spent sleeping through. They meant something. Those had value, weight, existence.

I gradually discovered I had lost the music to my soul. The key to my spirit. In the confines of my school, my room, my mind, I gave up on the things that should have mattered. After so many failures, nothing mattered anymore. What's another U? What's another failed performance? Nothing affected me. Indifference was my armour, indifference was the weight which sank me to the bottom of the cesspool of despair which I didn't even notice.

So what if I had achievements? Those tiny childish moments? The highlight of my life? To say that I peaked in secondary school? Pathetic. I have nothing to be proud about, nothing so show that I made an impact on this world. This is not Fatalistic. No! This is an Awakening.

I end this here. I leave in a bid to calm my mind with mental exercise.

P.S. I think I'm dead. Maybe.

2007-10-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

work hard, mug hard. worth it

2007-10-02T01:49:00.000+08:00

yeah, I'm still mad. Or in the eternal words of phira, "siao". Haha. I'm awake at this unearthly hour, with KI to do and yet I'm stoning. Maybe I'll start at 2.15am.

2007-10-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer! Don't ask me if I'm not okay or sumthing. I'm totally fine. Just in a contemplative mood.

I think I'm mad. Or maybe I'm just needing a little quite time, but I want to like stay up tonight, staring up into the starless night sky from my sofa under the window, looking past the glare of the flourescent light streaming from the stairwells of the opposite block.

I'm long overdue for silent contemplation and reflection. When was the last time I even sat on the sofa to think. Ok, given that the sofa was covered with stuff like files and books and papers, but still, I wouldn't have done it either. Just sitting and thinking about what I'm going to do with the next month, or so, of my life and how I'm ever going to accomplish what I can and want to. Act emo a bit, even though there's nothing emotional about thinking.

Thinking is such an exercise in rationality. Don't mind me if I go all philosophical and whimsical (is that how you spell it?) all of a sudden. I'm into one of my rare moods when I think more than I speak. Just calm and peaceful but not in the mood to do some work. I want to feel like I'm the only person around thats awake at that witching hour.

Do you feel like that sometimes? Just a sudden urge to go somewhere quite and relaxing to do some thinking? Or to just drop everything that you are doing and just teleport to somewhere far far away, away from the hustle and bustle of your life? To be alone, in a place of beauty? Man, I should go invent such a device. Haha.

Events are unfolding and life is rolling on. I like watching as a spectator as stuff happens. I also like to be part of that play. Maybe tomorrow I should go down to the beach to watch the sunrise then go to school? Mad. I must be mad, and I'll probably not do it anyway.

What do you do when you blow a balloon and it bursts? You get a new balloon and inflate it again. If life were so simple, then everyone would be bursting balloons, wouldn't they? Oooh, linguistics. Haha. A day in the life of a tissue box. You get lighter and lighter, knowing that one day, when your tissues run out, you'll be thrown out. Sad, isn't it?

Mad, just plain mad. I like thinking. Makes me feel smart. So what if there were a evil higher entity deluding me? So what if I were a brain in a vat with scientists prodding me, sending electrical impluses through me? I think. Even if what I think is faux, I'm thinking. I like math. Makes me think.

Tick tock, goes the clock on my wall. Tick tock, the time drips away. Am I wasting my time thinking? We'll see. Tomorrow comes around, will I be around? Or will I just be round? I think we all know the answer deep in our hearts.

Round. Haha.

2007-09-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

It's been sometime since I've blogged. The prelims are now over, and the papers are being returned for us to check and weep over. My grades are not exceptional, just that at least I didn't repeat what happened to my Mid yr grades. A D for Bio and S for chem and math. Not good, but better than the crap I had.

Mrs wong was so nice to us. First it was some really cool tasting chocolates and then it was really cute bunny pastry thing for mooncake festival. Here are some lame things that I did with mine and YQ's bunnies. Plus a funny comic drawn by Xiao Tong during a discussion in KI.

2007-09-13T21:15:00.000+08:00

"I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven" ----Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Here I am, after so long. Currently I'm suffering from the aftereffects of sleeping at 3.00am last night. So I'm abit woozy and my eyes are abit droopy but it's alright. I still have to go do my IS.

A few papers have flown by, math p1, chem p3 and all my bio papers except mcq. Think maybe with alot of hard work, I'll be able to get what I want at during the A lvls. Just abit jaded.

Aaaaanyway, I wanna say that the bleach movie BLEACH: Memories of Nobody rocks!!! So bittersweet, with very abrupt fighting scenes which I think they put in to just allow the other characters some air time. lol. Man, the really cute girl whom Ichigo kept chasing around, Senna, faded away at towards the end although he saw someone that looked like her after the credits. LOL. Love the OST for the movie, love the current intro song for the bleach anime series.

Current Fave songs
I For You - LunaSea
Alones - Aqua Timez
Sen no Yoru wo Koeto - Aqua Timez (Bleach: Memories of Nobody ending song)

Oh my, they're all jap. Interesting...

kk, byedebye..gotta go mug.

"Hate floods the world like the way a drop of grease spoils the floor. Love and be the mop to clean that crap up. Good dog." Quote from famous-one-day person...ME. lol

2007-09-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

I'm tired man. Just plain tired. Plus a bit scared, a lot helpless.
But I'm not supposed to give up, am I? I still have a week to go, I can clear my IS by today, work my ass off for the other 3 subs. It's only 3 subs that I have right? Yes, that's right. 3 subs. Bio, Chem and Math.

I like Math. It makes sense. I like Bio. Its interesting. I like Chem. I can visualise the stuff.

I can get my 4 As!

Be seeing you soon.

2007-08-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

The Rule of Parenting

Singapore's pro-confucianist teachings amongst the chinese population has lead to a fatal flaw in the upbringing of the future generations by parents whom have the twisted teachings of Confucius ingrained into them by some unknown force.

Confucianism teachs that as part of filial piety, children should respect and care for their parents. This however, has to be taken into context and not just solely based on the explicit wording. Many terms here as rather strong. Respect.

The idea of respect is such that a child obey's his/her parent's wishes. Does that include his/her parents' every unthinking and immature whim? Confucianism assumes a perfect being in society, perfect mature thinking parents, obedient children, helpful and kind citizens. These perfect beings do not exist. As such, it cannot be said that we have to follow exactly as is taught as we are not perfect beings.

Illustration: In singapore, it is a common sight and hear to see and hear parents admonishing their children for talking back and arguing their point. At a young age, children are unable to understand the importance that adults place on their flawed logic and poorly structured arguments. As they grow progressively older, they come to realise that there are certain ways one has to speak in order to not seem "Rude". One has to be lower in volume than the parent one is speaking to. One has to wait for the parent to finish screaming their flawed arguments before quietly showing their own counterpoint.

It seems that adult parents are porne to making major leaps in logic without, whatsoever, any attempts to bridge that gap. An example would be my parents thinking that just because I lock my room door, I am surfing and visiting Pornographic websites. When a child manages to take apart their simplistic arguments, and begins to point out flaws, a defensive mechanism in them pops up and the word "rude" is used to describe the child.

Yet, does not rude mean to describe a set of socially unacceptable actions? These do not only apply to a select strata of society, ie. children. Rude actions apply even to adults when dealing with one lower in status than them. For example, I do not bang open my parents' door while they are sleeping or taking a nap for the sake of asking for the reasons as to why they are sleeping. Neither do I do the same when they are on the phone when a friend is kind enough to provide a favour of a "wake-up call". Yet, it seems parents are allowed to do so without suffering the term "rude".

To the point of anger, a child is not allowed to feel or express that particular emotion whereas a parent is allowed to direct anger and it byproducts at the child at a whim. Where does "respect" go? Out the window or up my bleedin' arse?

On a personal level, I think it's starting to be pointless to stay at home to even sleep, for I can't even sleep without being rudely and abruptly woken for the most pointless of reasons on most nights. Parents no longer lack the capacity for reading and listening. Understanding has flown the coop into hell. All that's left for me is arguments which I am not allowed to support myself, interrupted sleep, dissent, and irritation. I think I'm gonna fucking stay at either downtown east's macdonalds or in school.

Fuck all this, it's not like I don't already have enough to handle without you shoving pointless irritations up my bleedin' arse.

Someone hates me

2007-08-17T21:53:00.000+08:00

Somebody out there hates me. I mean look at the shit that has happened to me recently. First, I lose my wallet yesterday. Then I noticed my mp3 player was cocked up. So I requested for email assistance. Today, I follow the fucking instructions and my player fucking dies at the end of it. I cant even turn it on, can't be detected by my com, doesn't respond to the charger.

Seriously, I thought I wasn't a naughty boy. What did I do to deserve such crap? Creative had better have a good explanation for why it died and a way to fix it. Stinking buggers.

On the brighter side, I managed to do today's Chem mock prelim paper 3. Haiz, shall try to concentrate and mug for tomorrow's paper 1 and 2. Somebody HATES me.

2007-08-16T20:26:00.000+08:00

Today was a really sucky day. Actually, it wasn't all that bad, just that losing my wallet was a total bummer. Kinda sucks losing your wallet. I lost my atm card, ez-link card, cash card, some 30 bucks, all the neoprints I ever took in my life (not a lot), library card, and some trash. At least I didn't lose my ic. heng arh..haha.

Damn mah fan lah! Now i have to wait for my new atm card to come in and also make a new ezlink card. Doh!

2007-08-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

I'm baaaack! I'm no longer that sick now. I still sound really sexy due to the stupid cough I still have, but it's all right. I have really nice tasting cough medicine. Makes me wanna drink up the whole bottle each time. Maybe I'll be a druggie and get addicted to cough medicine...

Hey! It's National Day's eve. Today was rather cool. The first time I went out with my KI class. Well, not really the class, just Lijing, yanhan, benjy, si hong and I. We went to Great World City. For those of you who are as blur as I was, GWC is a damn ulu place lah. Not say ulu like nobody's around, but ulu like IT'S SO FRICKING INACCESSIBLE! You have to like walk some distance from tiong baruh mrt stn. GWC is also where yh's mom's shop selling billabong stuff is.

Actually, GWC quite cool. The toilets have themes like Egypt and Holland and stuff. Plus the arcade there is really cheap. Haha! So we like splurged at the arcade and poofed off to the nextdoor GV for The Simpsons! Hilarious! Homer(flipping through the Bible as Grandpa is rolling on the floor seemingly possessed): "This book doesn't have any answers!" Haha!

Spiderpig song

Spiderpig, spiderpig,
Dos whatever spiderpig does.
Can he climb, on a wall?
No he can't, he's a pig.

Tomorrow's National Day. This means that 1 of my 5 day holiday has passed with me doing absolutely nothing. I'm so gonna die. Against all odds, I shall chiong and produce a pretty IS and do all my other revision.

Yay, me.

Cheers.

P.S. Happy Gaining-of-Independence Day, Singapore.

2007-07-30T15:05:00.000+08:00

Whee! I love being sick! I can't eat anything cause my throat hurts like crap. Drinking water hurts like crap! Can't talk, can't burp. Sneezing kills me. So this is how it went.

Friday.
Woke up with a really rough throat. I thought it would pass, so i drank lots of water and honey stuff. Then after school I went to see a doctor. Gradually it got worse. I ate dinner and puked torrents of orangey semi-liquid stuff after that. Fever set in and I was knocked out for the day.

Saturday.
Woke up, felt like I kena langgah by a lorry. Couldn't find my specs. Throat felt like it was just put through the shredder. Was passing in and out from dreamland. So there's nothing much to say.

Sunday.
Woke up, decided that the medication was bullshit. I went back to the doctor and asked for antibiotics. Have you any idea how expnesive antibiotics are? $25 bucks for 10 pills thats like $2.50 a pill. Go into pharmaceuticals, make big money.

Today.
Found my speccys! Haha. So pleased. Im still very woozy, and i think the fever's still hanging around. Bad fever. Im good enough to do some mugging so i'll start with bio then work on KI. Hopefully the guys in school are having a good day today. Please let there be little homework on account of rain and supposed snow(in queenstown).

bb..Sick bird signing off..

2007-07-26T21:32:00.001+08:00

Here's the video of bo xiong being chased by lijin for koping her hp to try and send us the pic jason took.

2007-07-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

I finally got the song that the band recorded for Shirlyn. Must bug her for the cd containing all her other songs. haha! We sound rather noobish leh. Maybe I'm too critical but who cares? We are noobs mah. I'll try to upload the song so that you can hear it. Maybe it'll be super noisy. haha. Oh, and I cant stop listening to it. Haha. Im so proud of The 5ifth. haha!

WE ROCK!

Maybe abit over the top le..haha

2007-07-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

Woohoo, this is great. My mother changed her handphone no. some time back. Then I forgot to update the change in the school's database. Now for the parent teacher meeting where my parents have to meet either the VP or P, they called my dad up. Its like totally pointless to ask him to go. He never bothers to try and understand anything. He likes to just stand there, looking at the final product, and comment on it based on the little knowledge and understand that permeated his entire existence.

I used to think that I'm just ignoring his existence. I think its only now that I realised his existence is affecting me. When he's around, I feel so angry. There's so much anger welling up within me. I know its wrong to feel this way, but I can't help it. I'm angry at how he does things, how he doesn't bother to understand, how he treats the family, etc.

I can't wait for the day when I can survive on my own and get him as far away from my person and mind as possible. I'm sorry if this offends anybody who thinks that a father-son relationship should be, at the very least, cordial. Its just that I have had a lot to bear for a long time and up till now, that has not changed much.

I'm going to mug my ass off, not because I want to please him. Maybe Mum. Haha. She's worth it. Not him. Never him. Missed the part in my life when things around me would mean a lot in my life, thats your problem. I've done fine without you for those years, there's no difference whether you are back or not.

Still, I blame myself for my totally shitty results for MYE. MUG HARD. MUG SMART. OWN THE WORLD, NO CHANCES.

2007-07-13T20:41:00.000+08:00

3 words..

OH MY GOD!

2007-07-09T17:25:00.000+08:00

Total failure. So this is what being a failure feels like. Well, I don't know how people live with this kinda shitty feeling but I can tell you it sure sucks BIG TIME. Failing all 4 of my H2's. Thats a first. PLUS, I never scored above like 40% for any subject. WOOHOO. This is so exciting. Im probably going to have some coffee over Ms Lai's table with my mother beside me. What can I say? I deserve the grades. I didn't study at all. I had totally no drive during June. Nothing went in. My heart is sinking to the bottom of the abyss called Despair. Imagine getting 11/60 and 26/60 for KI. I'm like a total loser now. Not that I'm going to brush this aside like I did with all my other disappointments. This is too big. I am actually feeling pain. Wow. Mr Rubber Man feels pain. Nothing hurts me. I'm the epitome of indifference. Now I feel like a loser. Damn, this is huge. What a time. Not that its her fault. Its my stupid fault. I blame myself for not studying at all. Where did my drive go? Is it because there' no competition or have I resigned myself to loseing all the time to people like yiqiang and jason? I don't think I all that bad right? I have the intellect required for the A levels. I definitely have to use this as my motivation. Waiting for inspiration and motivation to fall out of the sky is like waiting for gold to fall into my lap. Sorry guys, there won't be anymore jam sessions till we settled our A's. I don't want to flunk like I did for MYE. Whee. OMG, ranting like a total demented freak does help in think somethings through. Why didn't I ever do this before? Furthermore, this post is so damn long, I highly doubt anybody would bother reading through the wohle thing. Spiderweb styled thinking is the way my mind, or I, operate. Can you, Reader, understand my trail of thoughts? I feel much calmer now. No longer so depressed like a total moron. Thank you for taking the time to read this to the end. YOu have been a good friend. There'll probably be no need to mention this anymore.

2007-07-04T08:24:00.000+08:00

Crap man. This rumbling in the distance sounds like a thousand troubles charging towards me. But how do I make them see? That what they want is just beyond me. I burned my bridges and I fled to sea. My tiny dingy is all I have with me. Please don't try to make things trying and sappy. I am but only me. Wheeeeee.

2007-07-02T21:43:00.000+08:00

Exams..

A quick message, a beep on the phone.
A quick glance, an encouraging note.
A quick reply, a heartfelt thankyou
A quick heartbeat, an eternity of warmth.

Sometimes we try, and sometimes we don't.
Sometimes we cry, and tears start to flow.
Sometimes we sing, and words begin to soar.
Sometimes we think, abd thoughts flourish.

Simple times, simple relationships.
Hard times, strained ties.
Exam times, we just wanna die.
Find time to enjoy, unwind, and relax.

2007-06-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

I got bored with mugging bio.

You are Dark Chocolate

You live your life with intensity, always going full force.

You push yourself (and others) to the limit... you want more than you can handle.

An extreme person, you challenge and inspire the world!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

2007-06-24T00:50:00.000+08:00

I'M SO SORRY!! I really didn't mean to offend anybody. Please forgive me and forget what I said earlier. Talking from a blind position is wrong of me and I take back what I said.

I seem to do this a lot this year hor? Saying all the wrong things and meaning things differently from what I said. The impression that the words I used gave may have came across as too strong, and not knowing the full situation just made things worse.

Sorry.

Not knowing the ins and outs
Blindly speaking how I felt
Evil in a sense
Blind in another
Perfect silence
Shattered pieces
None to blame
But Me.

2007-06-21T20:52:00.000+08:00

This is for yesterday when I went down to CMPB for the pre-NS medical checkup with aaron, phira and kelvin.

We took the the train all the way down to redhill. It was like a totally funny journey. All the way, it was like, "Eh, you read the thing on UN-cyclopedia? ...leekuanyewharryleehseinloong..haha..miss swan..blah blah." Phira showed me a hilarious website. Its like the total opposite of wikipedia. Singapore motto: Act blur, live long. HAHA!

We took 145 down to cmpb. All my fault, I asked them to get off the bus a few stops early. Then we had to walk like from the side gate to the main gate.

I know everyone who has not been for the medical checkup wants to know what goes on inside. haha! Whether we jiggle our balls at the medical officer and shake our booties in their face.

Archerly, it very simple one. You go there, first thing is take photo for the NS card. They make you wear this riduculous shirt with velcro "button" for quick changing.

Then the checking comes in random order. They really like to suck blood man, the garmen. They ask u to pee on this strip with tiny coloured squares on it. "pee on colour, toilet there (points to left)" Then I'm like har? They really are damn bored man. At the same station, they do a finger prick and squeeze blood out of your finger! Like SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE, and fill up tiny straws with your blood. Then they use a larger needle and stick it up your vein and let the blood fill the WHOLE testtube!! The thick dark red oxygen deprived blood flows from in you to out of you!! Luckily, I got the pretty lady to suck my blood instead of the creepy uncle who was so hiong in slapping poor kelvin's arm to get the vein out. Haha!

GOt some dental thingy. You sit in the dentist chair while she says things like,"...(unknown) erupted, (something)missing..." Then if u hamsum, like me, you gotta go for some x-ray to memorialise your hamsumness. HAHA.

Then got chest x-ray to check if you are human.

Check sight, hearing..very boring things. They make you take off your shirt and shoes in this particular room and attach your suction cups on your nehneh and tummy and place clamps on hands and feet.

Then in the medical officer's room, he made me pull down my pants and jiggle my balls. Ok, so he didn't actually ask me to jiggle my balls, but it was close to it. HAHA.

Jiggle jig jig my balls.

2007-06-16T13:02:00.000+08:00

My Chemical Romance Lyrics

2007-06-15T22:21:00.000+08:00

I'm so dead. I've hardly mugged anything. I spent most of my day sms-ing, talking on the phone, watching tv when I'm not doing the above 2.

For the next few days, I'l prolly be mugging more than I did with the last 2/3 weeks combined, cause my chitchat partner is out of town, gone to phuket for 3 days. Whee.

So now as I watch supernatural and enter this post, I'm going to be a real fool if I don't mug as much as I can till the exams start.

There was some idiot who sent me a message saying that he/she was clara and that he/she changed their number. Till now, I still don't know who the idiot is but it seems the idiot has known me for awhile. I'm not irritated anymore but I really wanna know who that was. Tell me k?

Carrie did some nice amature photo editing. It looks rather cool.

Thats all for today.

P.S. See I updated k, kitten.

2007-06-12T21:28:00.000+08:00

Post-Ice skating pics after carrie banged her head on the ice and had an ENORMOUS bump. Like huge, scalp visible huge.

whee..byebye..

2007-06-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

It's not me that wants to update, but it's not everyday that there's a demand for me to do so.

Today. mum took leave. I mugged. the end.

yesterday? Mugged with belle? Crap, Im losing chunks of memory. Can't remember when I mugged with her.

Tomorrow jeremy ask if I wanted to go cycle. hmm. Should I go? haha! My phone bill is likely to blow this month. LOL.

I'm a slacker.
I'm a mugger.
I'm a lover.
Don't get me down.

2007-06-06T15:03:00.000+08:00

2007-06-03T21:37:00.000+08:00

YAY!! I finally have the time to update my blog, although hardly anybody reads it. Haha. So much happened since I last updated. Lets recap the series of events that happened which I still can recall.

First week of holidays

The entire stupid week was spent doing my totally overdue KI Independent Study(IS). Haha. Its incredible how long I took to send it in. Oh Shit! I forgot to message Dr Alfi when I emailed her my IS draft. DIE!!

Oh yes, KI paper 2 was held last week too. Surprisingly the paper was not as difficult as I expected. Maybe its deceptive and mischievous and I totally failed the paper. Again. NOOO!!! I must'nt fail logic again. I'm logical wad. Bird makes perfect sense. Spinach doesn't kill! So I can't rub spinach in your face and kill you. Right?

After the Ki ppr, I went with the rest of the KI freaks to Mac's for brunch. Aiyo, I went home to play gunbound. I was an addict man. Start cannot stop. then got people play with me somemore. Totally crapped my days like that. So, I uninstalled gb and deleted the setup. haha!! So proud of myself.

Quit gb cold turkey but made a new friend. We clicked immediately. haha! So interesting.

My B'dae 31st MAY
I got absolutely no presents!!! What the hell!! Not a single 1. okay, so my mom did give me an angpao, but that does not count! Where all my friends die to? So cheapo. hurmph. What Great friends I have.

At least Dad had the decency to bring us out to No Signboard for dinner. At least that was good. Haha! But still!! NO PRESENTS!! UNBELIEVEABLE!! NOT 1 TILL NOW AND ITS LIKE JUNE LE!!

That night, I was chionging IS, then mr sl wanted to bring me and carrie out drinking. So I was like, wait for me to finish my stuff first lah. They were like, okay! Then I realised that I couldn't complete before 12. Then carrie called to say he was going to pick carrie up first then me, and I freaked! I havent finished my work. HAHA!! So carrie called sl. then sl called me and was like, EH my house now got storm, how to go home? haha!! Drama king sia. So they'll try to get me wasted next sat instead. haha!! Gotta try hard guys, I can drink some.

I love ugly betty! Watching it now. Its so totally bitchy and like total fake office politics and shit. Must watch man. haha!

oh yeah, We went down to the zoo yesterday for some work doing the shit jobs at a family day for this company called Chevron. I spent the bulk of my time giving out the goodie bags lor. Oh plus we destoryed alot of free fans in the goddie bags. haha. Its not our fault, they spoil so easily. haha. I'll post the pics up another time haha.

I'm gone for now. Cheers. =)

2007-04-21T21:28:00.000+08:00

Today the band went down to Parkmall for the recording session. It was so extremely tiring even though we didn't really do anything except sit around, talk, play a bit of music. Or maybe I'm just falling sick?

We went there at 10.30. Went up to the studio. Its actually part of the School of Music and Arts. The studio was pretty cool. The control room had like this super huge mixer which would probably cost something in the region of 5 digits, but the live room was pathetic. They had only 1 drum set, a bass amplifier and a guitar amplifer. There were some problems, but it was a great experience in all. I think it's a great chance that presented itself but I guess I'm just tired.

My neck is killing me. Think it's due to lugging the guitar around. I totally admire Jianxin, Xiwen and Lijing for being able to do so everytime we go jamming. The band is made up of the best friends and mates that I can ask for to make music with.

After the session, lj, jx and xw went home. Tim went back with me to the studio to get my camera. Then we went to get a food at LJS. Considering we didn't eat lunch, I'm surprised that we didn't eat more than we did. The counter guy was so rude. I wanted to whack him. Maybe I was just irritated already and he pissed me off further.

We walked around the yamaha in PS. Its huge man. THey have like a whole drum section. So we were playing with the electric drums there. So damn cool. Wish I had the cash to get a set. Then we never need to go to a studio again. PLUS we can record our own songs. Maybe in a few years time.

Think I'll go to sleep. Super exhausted. Nightz...cheers..

2007-04-14T22:34:00.000+08:00

Saturday. The day I met Shirlynn. The day we tried out her song. We spent a good part of the day at JX's place, figuring out parts of the song and trying to put them together. Lunch was terrific. All thanks to Lj. haha. That girl can cook. ok..im not making sense.

12 plus, I went out to meet with Xw after her guitar. Then we took the train down to Eunos to meet Shirlynn. Shirlynn is the composer of the song that we are going to record next saturday for her diploma or something like that. Incredible that the band managed to get a recording gig. Anyway, I think all the taxi drivers in Singapore has something against us. All the cabs were taken. We waited so long for a bus. So we decided to take a cab.

Anyway, after leaving jx's place, we went down to the studio to try out her song. The song by itself is a workable piece, which is not bad. Then by our standards, which is not too shoddy, we managed to piece together what seemed to be a workable rock piece. Needless to say that more practice is needed. I think 2 hours may extend to 3 this friday if the studio is open. Die..haha..Maybe might have to meet up earlier for briefing.

Sing a song.
Tra-la-la-la-la
Ring a bell.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling
Please don't fart,
It'll just smell..

2007-04-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

I LOVE THIS WEATHER!! Oh, except when I'm going home. That's when the legs of my pants get all wet and my shoes become soggy. But the weather is so nice and cool and windy and dark. Did I mention cool?

Oh and as I type this, there's this godlike pianist doing some live performance from the school next to my place. I can hear like everything and I can tell you, that person is damn GOOD. Plus its live. OMFG man. I totally am not able to play so well. Classical music. Free. Relaxing. Soothes the mind and soul.

Today we got our PW results back. Woohoo. Around half the school got As. Everyone in my group apart from sarly got an A. She got B. She seemed unhappy about it but I totally don't know how to say things now without sounding like a prick. So it was like,"Oh, B ok lah. Don't be too sad." Or something liddat.

Wasn't hungry today at lunch time, so when the others went for their lunch at the food court, I went up to the library to settle the overdue book thing. Damn irritated. The book was returned so damn long ago. So long story, lazy to type out. Must go back to the library to do a report. Luckily I still can borrow books. Haha.

Advert
Girl Guides Singapore
2007 Carnival
23 june 10am to 6pm
at *scape field.

For Tickets please call me.(Assumption: only my frens read this)
haha. I've got like $20 worth on my hands.

YAY..Finally jamming tommorrow. Sunday they are going to send ts off then going somewhere to play badminton. I know that if I go, it'd be weird with some people, plus no one asked, so I will keep quiet. oh yeah. Forgot to talk to person. Haiz. So damn forgetful..

Think msg will do fine bah..gotta go do IS again..cheers..

2007-04-12T20:50:00.000+08:00

Amidst all the homework, which I have not been doing due to me using my IS research as an excuse, and all the funny things, I think I finally did settle some issues close to my heart. It was saddening at first, but now its not so bad. Apologies have not been fully made to all, but its so damn hard to. No chance, but I shall try tomorrow.

A huge stone off my chest. Being an idiot for such a long time, I think I forgot who I was and really am. Finding back my drive and confidence is my main priority now. Confidence and not the crap that I inflate to cushion the blows.

I received an sms recently from Diana, my peer support/MJ senior, asking me to call this friend of her's. So I did. It turns out that this friend, Shirlyn, needed a band to help record this song she wrote for her music course. Obviously I said yes, after asking the rest. Its not everyday that you get to record songs, you know. For one thing, the studio is really expensive, plus we currently have no material. HAHA..><..woohoo..going to be such a great learning experience..

Imagine Bo Xiong with his face all flushed exclaiming,"我的头很热!!" HAHA..this happened a while back. Oh! Plus I think he lost to Lavi that time too..LOL..

OKOK!! Back to chionging my IS..Final submission tomorrow..again..haha..cheers..

2007-04-04T09:05:00.001+08:00

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

2007-03-31T13:44:00.000+08:00

HAHA!! I'm supposed to be mugging right now, but I'm such a slacker. Going over my results of the block tests, I think I barely met my targets, or slightly under.

Chem - C
Math - S
Bio - either Not returned yet or I can't remember.
KI - 31/60 for paper 2, but since its like relatively better than some of the rest, I'll shut up about it.

It's getting hard to talk to some people. Like there's nothing in common anymore. I'll try harder anyway. I don't want to lose any friends and yet, people change. Change is inevitable. So many people were crushed by their results. Its not like I expect everyone to take things in their stride. People have different ways of coping with disappointments, maybe I've just been dealing with more such that I've my own way of doing things. Phases of life, deals with different situations, different people, different relationships.

There're really stupidly funny spoofs from MadTV on youtube. It's so funny, like the 1 on the "Bush and iraq" thing titled "I rack" and others. People feeling really down should go laugh till they bust a gut. Its great therapy. Since I'm no longer going for training, my week suddenly is freed up. Adjusting to the sudden freeness, feels weird. Ever since secondary school, I've had so much to do in school be it choir or peer. Now with nothing to do apart from mug, I get this useless feeling of having nothing to do. Not even in the reserve team, wtf, I seriously don't think I'm that lousy. Forget that.

Hooked on to Shakugan no Shana. Its an anime about this girl wielding a Kantana and about this dead guy who is not dead. HAHA. After awhile, all the storylines of anime blend into 1 dull blur, yet they still intrigue people. We all just like to escape into the realm of fantasy, running from reality, wishing we were heros saving lives.

Reading ethics(how humans should act and behave), the philosophers on Science and math is really dry. Discussion on ethics opened a whole new can of worms in my mentality. KI is screwing with my mind. I can see how much I don't know about, and I envy those in the shadows living a life of not wondering. I just stash all my questions in a corner of my mind and leave them there to rot. Why think so much when there are problems to solve and issues to settle.

I wonder how to post a vid here for enjoyment of readers. I think I got none. HAHA. Pretty sad man, but here it is anyway.

Presenting..Tickle Me EMO!!!

2007-03-24T23:40:00.000+08:00

Damn. I wrote a post about the stupid block tests and it got wiped out before I could save. That sarks(new spelling I picked up from Timo). And at this very moment, I am repairing the stupid connection cause it keeps breaking down.

Its really pouring down outside. My favourite weather at the best time. Rainstorm. At night. When I'm at home.

The rhythmic pitter-pattering of rain drops on my windowsil punctuated by the occasional flash of lightning and crash of thunder sounds so relaxing. I have no idea why some people are afraid of thunder. Its just sound. They should be afraid of lightning. You can die from a lightning strike but not thunder. haha..

Today I went down to VJ to watch Timo's audition. Actually in my opinion they were not bad. Played Smooth by Carlos Santana. But they heard from some other people that they didn't manage to get into Musicfest. Poor things. They looked so dejected. Xi Wen went with me, but she left coz she had to work.

Working at Settlers sounds like a lot of fun. From what I hear, you teach people how to play the games, serve food, mingle with the customers and sometimes play with them. So cool. A place for people to play boardgames. No wonder she works each time she's free.

My IS got to amend because Cambridge not happy with the way I wrote it. Then now must change so that it'll sound more KI-ish. Wtf man. This totally sarks. Then must resubmit summore. Gonna waste a lot of time. Feel like a Mocha latte.

Well...buhbye people who read this...

Listen to the rain.
It'll soothe your pain.
For when you lose some,
The world you gain.

Its not much of a game.
Where tides ebb and wane.
Cigarette smoke weaves a web,
For lions to lose their mane.

2007-03-15T22:51:00.001+08:00

It seems like I waited a bit too long. I probably lost. Along with many other things recently, I don't think this is much to add on to my pile of recent failures and disappointments.

But I'll be a man about it. Push on dude!! I want to thank all my friends who have been there for me even when I'm a jerk most of the time.

They said you can't lose what you never had, and yet it still feels so bad... What a cool line. I'm such a genius. I don't think I'll cry about this. Maybe I should just go sms to ask? Nah...

Plaster on a smile, shake hands, don't let the armour crack. You are strong.

2007-03-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hello blog. I'm back to update you. I have a shitty cough that gives me headaches because I cough till I get them. Its really hot out but staying in an air-con room is bad for my cough so it really sucks. But I'm doing fine, apart from having to go down to the clinic tomorrow to get more cough medicine.

I have no discipline whatsoever. I can't focus on mugging for longer than 2 minutes at a time. So, since I didn't really study really hard for the chem test, I shouldn't really complain about my S right?

WRONG!!! I should be mad at myself for not studying..But you know something? I take so many things in my stride that things that should matter, well, don't.

I can't decide if that is a good or bad thing. Rolling with things. Flexibility and free-ness..if there is such a word. Ahh, what the heck. I'll go to sleep since I'm still sick.

I'll try to upload the song next week ok, blog? Nite nite..

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little harder to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can’t say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to cry
So come on courage
Teach me to be shy
Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

2007-03-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

This kinda sucks. We got our 'A' level chinese results back, and I got a C. I was expeting an A or a B at least cause I was damn confident that I did pretty well for the paper. Sian. Well at least it doesn't matter. It'll serve as a warning for y other subjects. I don't really want to resit the paper. Too much trouble. The time can be put to better use. Mum was not as cool about it as I had thought she would be. Still, the decision is mine to make. I'll think about it tomorrow.

Not that I'm rebellious or anything. Too old for that crap. Its more like I'm in charge of my life most of the time that they let me make alot of decisions by myself as long as I discuss it with them first(if its like something not small)...haha..I go around and I hear people complaining about how their parents drive them mad. If you can't handle them shouting, do what I do. Tell them firmly but politely that the shouting does not help. Then reply them in a softer voice. It works till I get pissed then I try to control my volume. haha..

Now my life revolves around mugging and slacking in obvious opposites. Havent jammed in a few months. Really sad to think that the band might not last the year. Could it have been a mistake(s) on my part? Pretty sadded.

No guts.
No inclination.
No words.
No ideas.
No explanation.

Too full of turmoil.
Too full of arrogance.
Too full of conflicts.
Too full of fear.
Too full of pain.

Filled to the brim.
Emptied to the bottom.
Both at the same time.
A square circle.
Oxymoronic system.

I'm going to try to upload my new fave song. Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. The acoustic version is nicer in my lousy opinion.

Off to mug bio. cheers...

2007-02-26T21:07:00.000+08:00

School started like officially today. The CNY mood has evaporated in the midst of the oppressive aura of mjc. I like to think that stress is getting to some people, and that's why they are so cranky and bitchy. Although it may just be that they are bitchy by nature. Poor creatures.

The "mugging without feeling tired" drive has returned recently, since it deserted me in late Jan. I chionged homework till I'll be in the clear for a few days. Really sick style of mugging even though it works and I don't realy have much time left since the block tests are coming and bio will kill.

So I think I'd better go mug. Tired of mugging le lah...Cheers everyone...

Anger is bad.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
Suffering leads to the dark side.

Work is good for the body.
Thinking is good for the mind.
Love is good for the soul.
Release anger, feel lighter.

2007-02-24T23:18:00.000+08:00

Today's outline of events..just because I'm super lazy...

Wake up...stoned...Went out...Met up the rest(siok, qiang, tsz, jastay, sarly)..took bus to nic's place...met nic's really nice parents again..stayed there for like half the day...played cards..won abit of $$...left...took bus to jeremy's place...realised his mum and nic's mum same pattern de..must be becoz they know each other...next paragraph? nah...stoned at jeremy's place..played cards..lost more $$ then i won earlier...ate pizza...watched Constantine for the dunno-th time...went down..played volleyball...walked to bus stop...took bus..go home...sit down...type entry...

there..my day in 5 minutes..

Cheers...ching chang chong...

2007-02-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

I've realised alot of things, and yet I've learnt nothing.

I've tried to change things, but I've never succeeded.

I've tried to listen, but I end up only hearing.

I've approached so many times, each time I fall back.

Slience myself? Would that help?

I don't know my family.

I don't know my friends.

I'm a Stranger. Unsure of everything.

How does one trust what he doesn't know?

What they like? Who are they? Superficial? Deep?

How they think?

Multiple layered shields for my protection from myself?

Hollow laughter. Faked smiles. Keep up the pretence.

Till I find myself. Within the depths of my soul.

Music, my solace. Singing my release.

Solitary in my essence. Extroverted in my outer shell.

Cryptic I am not. Open is my soul.

I shall win her over. I will prove my worth.

I will protect, I will create.

2007-02-10T23:19:00.000+08:00

Today was great? We went to Vil'age (marche with another name) to celebrate Lavi's b'dae early. Was damn fun. Bo xiong was so blur. When the waitress asked him if she could clear the plates, he placed the packet of sugar he was holding into her outstretched hand. Its was such a stupidly funny scene!! He's sooooo blur!

Then after that it started to like dull down. People started leaving left and right. Siok, sharon, sarly left almost immediately. Then after walking abit, jastsz left, lijing left, yan han left...In the end only left jeremy, BX, Qiang, Crys, Lavi, cass and me.

We walked around shopping. Those girls have extremely expensive taste. OMG. They can really spend money. We walked into Zara, Armarni X and all the slightly high end places. Then they were like gushing over a pair of shoes that cost 4 digits. Totally unfanthomable.

In the end, only BX got some pants at taka. The 3 girls wanted to leave but Bx, qiang and I still needed to get some stuff. So we parted ways with the girls and jeremy. We(qiang, bx, me) made our way down to Bugis Street.

There was such a huge crowd at the traffic light. In the end when the light changed, we jumped the fence. LOL! Qiang like got stuck so bx and I waited for him to appear. Managed to really shop for jeans and tops. I grabbed 2 jeans, rather nice jeans I might add, a chain and a red top.

$(40+33+10+18)=$101

Not bad considering that I was contemplating spending the $150 I got from dad to buy jeans at Levi's. So, Thankyou you, bx. Haha.

Hilarious. Bx and Nic die also didn't want to get a shirt. So when qiang and I were looking at shirts, bx was complaining his ass off.

Qiang got a pair of jeans and a few really cool shirts, bx got a few t shirts, jersey and a pair of jeans. Its nice to go shopping with guys. We look at stuff we need or want, buy, go. HAHA..

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Congrats to all those who took their O level results and are happy with it. So, belle is happy with her 8. Haha..congrats girl..=)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I'm in it deep,
She makes my heart beat.
It seems just not long ago,
I was still floating in limbo.

Then she walked into my life,
through that very door.
she looked me in the eye,
and she said, "Hi!"

It took me by surprise,
to see her smiling at me.
My heart then took a ride,
on the whirlwinds of ecstacy.

now on and on i tumbled and fell.
So hard for her that it seemed,
that there were bells ringing.
ding dong, ding dong, ding...

Now I see her everyday,
Not that anything has changed.
I still say HI and wave goodbye,
but my heart just can't deny.

I haven't the guts to tell her,
I haven't the guts to show her,
I haven't the guts to reveal,
that I care.

For love is something I can't fanthom.
For I am young and know not life.
Bounded in shackles of the world.
I cry at night, or does my heart just die?

reborn in the day, to die in the night.
day by day, it hurts to say...
Goodbye...

2007-02-08T20:54:00.000+08:00

I was told today that some people thought I was being mean about my friends. But I never referred to them what. My classmates are the best and my friends rocks my socks.

People have days when they have bad moods. Its natural. I can't be all happy and not-giving-a-damn all the time. So if you were offended, haha, too bad. You blur and misunderstood me is your problem. If I really unhappy with anybody, it'll show on my face and I'll give it to you, no holds barred. Think my tolerance limit grew abit.

I did the stupid personality test thing. Im a ESFP. Extrovert, sensing, feeling, perceiving. Whatever that means. Oh if you want to do the quiz, go to http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp.

It seems that I can't think straight as in linear and I can't be coherent. I am random and crappy. Better than some people..won't get boyfren..hor? lj? LOL!!

Today we had some lame test to see the level of english the KI students have. Total lame shit. They gave us a GP paper. I have never done a GP paper b4. Think I failed. LOL.

Then we had a dialogue session with a ministar of trade and finance. Not bad trying to make us feel that the gah-men is doing a great job. For one, I'm convinced. Total propaganda? No. More like credit due lah. That ministar damn own man. Havard sia.

Vans-tine's Day is around the corner.
I smell roses and many many flower.
And see all the little boys flounder.
Trying real hard to get wit her.

They all think that a flower will do.
make the girls go gaa gaa goo.
But they miss out on their hairdo.
all looking like some goondu.

I may join all the goondus
ask any cute girl, that will do
give her roses and flower.
maybe that will win her.
Over.

2007-02-06T20:38:00.000+08:00

Its going to be a self centered post. But isn't that what a blog was designed for?

I don't like confrontations. I don't like to push my point when its painfully obvious that you cannot accept any other idea apart from your own. Its hard to work on anything when the people you are with are unable to stop, and listen to another's ideas and opinions.

I can say that because I have learnt to listen. Even if I don't like what they say, I let them finish their explanation. I used to think it was a sign that maybe I grew a little. Maybe it still is. So does that imply that they are still at the stage I was?

I believe in the idea that growth and progress can only be made when there are 2 points that have conflicting ideas. It need not be total confrontations but at least differences. Synthesis is the keyword.

Person to person interaction. Have I failed in that? Tone of voice and language and body posture. If I have offended you before in any of these areas, I ask for forgiveness even though it is not forgivable. Tone determines everything that the other perceives. It is here where people are often pissed off about.

Today. I walked away many times. Not because I was angry at people or their way of actions but rather to prevent myself from saying something wrong. If they their ideas fit and beautiful, who am I to insist no? But to put foward my idea, YES! I am entitled to that much.

I laugh with you, I smile when you call me birdhead. Its all benign humour. I appear to be unaffected. Rubber. With a soft squishy core. I like myself to be that way. NO. I will remember from now on. Forgive all but remember them.

There will always be F-ing B*****ds in the world. F-ing B***hes also. If I am able to resist, I am a step above you losers.

My friends. No one is like me. Unique in the world, I stand. Change comes and goes. Fluidity in the essence of the unmoving. Stoic in the flow of the world. Marching to the beat of my own drum. I'll see you at the end.

HEAVEN KNOWS
Rick Price

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up
Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holdin' on

So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows

Such a nice song. Meaning holds nothing to me. Music is all that matters.

2007-02-02T21:03:00.000+08:00

Every time I take the bus, I like the sky to be grey. It seems nice to just stare out of the window, looking at the mass of greyness in the sky and feel all emo. With like rock ballads or some lovey-dovey chinese music playing into my head via my headphones, it feels so nice.

Then along the way, I see people rushing around like little wound-up toys, heading along aimlessly to their unknown destinations(at least to me lah).

Times like this, I think about what I never dared to say, never dared to do, whether I closed my bedroom window in case of rain, whether my house will explode because maybe I forgot to turn off the gas even though I didn't turn it on.

Think..Think..Worry..Worry..Act cool...Act cool..Emo..Emo..

Then "Ding-Dong" goes the bus bell thingy and I have to get off the bus to go to school, everything in the bus forgotten and shoved to the back of my mind.

Thats why, I prefer rainy nights when theres like a total thunderstorm. I lie on my sofa which is just beside my bedroom window, and stare out at the dark, dark sky. The rhythmic rain washing the world washes my mind at the same time. Its really soothing, the rhythm of the rainfall. Sets people sleeping. For me, I like the way it makes me relaxed and able to think about an idea for slightly longer periods of time rather than the 5 seconds I usually take per idea. That's why I alwauys sound incoherent. I can't think on an idea for too long. I get bored.

Tomorrow is the college road race thingy where we wear house tees and go "run" at some park. For some stupid reason, the school has always held it at Bedok reservior even though the school is in Pasir Ris!! This year, however, it would be held at Pasir Ris park which is 10 minutes away from home. HAHA!! Boo to those living far away.

So I'm meeting some of the guys at pasir ris interchange tomorrow at 7. Great reason they gave. "We don't know how to get to the exact place." So they sorta need a guide. LOL! Feel like meeting them at a easier place.

Update on battle with demons of illness.
1) Diarrhoea monster has been vanquished.
2)Fever hordes are still at the gates but has been pushed back somewhat.
3)Weak legs are still around.
4)Forces are losing strength, unable to exert force.
5)Head is occasionally bombed by..well..bombs.

Route to recovery(%): 68

End of Update.

Not all things can be said.
Not all things can be done.
When I try to say or do.
Please not let me be undone.

Cheers people!!

2007-02-01T16:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterday

Uuuugh..yesterday totally sucked!! Imagine going to the toilet every 20-30 minutes. DIARRHOEA!! I started feeling weird on the bus. Went before assembly, went before KI during free period, went right at the start of chem lect, before bio tutorial, and lost count after that.

Damn siao man. Go until my legs were wobbly. Actually not that bad lah. More like there was lesser energy in them. I actually wanted to pon sch 1. Budden had a maths test so was like Ahh!-what-the-heck, go home after the test. Then was told that the test was the last period. Luckily the last period was at 12+ so it was ok.

Got home, crapped more. Slpt till dinner time, developed a fever and got so stoned I slept again at 8+.

today

Woke up with a headache. Went to see doc. Went a few more times. Took meds. Wrote in blog. Visited blogs. Tried to mug. Failed badly. Haha. Think I'll be back in sch tomorrow.

Cheers..=s

2007-01-24T20:55:00.000+08:00

School life is not bad, although I lost my steam and stamina. I feel so extremely tired everyday when I get home. Maybe its the lesser amount of sleep I'm giving myself everyday. The trice weekly trainings are starting to get me a little tougher but I'm still totally fat. HAHA..Can't help it. I love food too much. Its never how much I can eat but whether I want to eat a not. I have not known a limit to the food I can shove into my mouth.

Today, the J1s came for their first training session. It was super slack. We played games for like a whole hour and only did warmups and stretching for the other hour. There are like so many J1s. 24 in total!! We only have 19 J2s. They were rather quiet. Hope to get to know them better and then we can hang before trainings. Its boring to mug nonstop before trainings. Oh, I saw the girl that crystal was saying that was super compatible with Nic. LOL. I didn't see him speaking to the newbies lor. Most probably he did bah.

I noticed that after I dropped Econs, I'm abit distanced from the class. Everyone's temper is abit short recently. Think it may be due to the increased workload and increasing pace. I hope that we can all make it through this difficult period together and help each other along the way. Let's go guys! Own the subjects!!!

A little tired? A little stressed.
Life is hard, we stick together.
By my nature, I am a loner.
I seek for company, and for love
Friends never fail, never fail
for my life is good, the world is better.

haha..thats weak, but I'm tired. Excuses...

2007-01-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

Oh man, I'm so fucking pissed. Plus I detest that word. Why can't people take a bit more responsibility and like do things on time.

phone calls into the night,
I swing a punch in his face.
the receiver hangs in the air,
"hello? Is anyone there?"

Crackling is heard in the line,
goo oozes out of the mouthpiece.
Five lights flashes and flickers,
But the line is dead?

Fiery anger bursts the dams of control.
He tosses and turns in his bed
A dim glow lights his F-ing face.
Keep dreaming, you asshole.

across the dinner table,
a war is fought.
silence is kept as daggers fly.
Forks and spoons hide under the table.

A simple exchange of words.
A simple dinner
A simple night out
A simple life?

Oh crap, now i got to go read up on Descartes. byebye.

2007-01-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way
Through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven

Oh my god, this song totally rocks. Thanks cassie! Haha..I think its the prolonged rainy season. I've taken to thinking a lot. Is too much introspection bad? Or does it help to solve some ideas I've been toying with? I mean, my life is good, I've got great friends, I'm getting along fine with mom and sis, I'm not far behind in school, I'm healthy. Still, there's this weird gnawing feeling within me. Especially on rainy nights.

I love rainy days when we are stuck indoors. I'll recline on my sofa and stare out of the window watching the rain fall in such hypnotising rhythms. Funny habit, I listen to chinese songs when its raining. Most songs are so nice and soothing. The soul needs relaxation.

I don't think I'm a fake person, am I? I try to treat people as sincerely as I can. I'm fricking gullible. I like to think that everyone is innately good. What are real friends? Is it sad that I don't have like a guy buddy whom I've known all my life?

I've been lying to myself for years now it seems. I'm not a social person. I'm afraid of being alone. And yet, I'm a loner. Where exists the person whom I can confide in? Herein lies the problem. How would I know that that person exists? This is not a cry for help. I'm looking for my self.

Different wavelengths puts me on a different plane from the others. On the occasion that the planes cross, I click. Its tiring to maintain that level with others. But to fight loneliness, I will keep that up.

I stopped being a child long ago. Be strong. Look after people around you. Be a man. Protect your family. Piece by piece, I built my armour up around me. Everyone has that protective nature. Kinks may appear, but we let it peer. That is such as life. Never ask who is ther to look after you. Look after yourself. Help may not be given when you need it the most. Friends and family? Stay that way. Ashes when fires roar, dust when wind blows. The demands of life saps energy. Replenish that. Sleep, meditation, prayer? Who am I to pray to? The Good? Ideas which I can't accept. Accept my self. Change.

The fan is whirring, a breeze swirls around the room.
A boy is crying, tears hit the floor around him.
The night is calling, slience permeates the air.
Am I still sleeping? The question just hangs there.

2007-01-13T17:10:00.000+08:00

Its been so long since I last blogged. Didn't expect school to be such killer from even the first day.

Its nice to be back in school again, but we are so busy now that we hardly have time to chill. Everyone is busy mugging and doing homework, even slackers like me is mugging in advance. Plus my days are rather packed with wushu training on mon, wed, fri. I'm usually so dead tired that I can't do anything. Luckily friends are always there to help out.

Life is so not fun at times. I got scratched by the binding of the chem notes. Real dumb. The worst happened yesterday during training.

I came back from the toilet and picked up my broadsword. Then within 5 minutes, Luther whipped around as we were all turning and *BANG* my finger got sliced! I was like "AHHH!!!" and grabbed my lefty. Blood oozed out but had a consistency like water. There was some amount of blood but I thought that maybe he just sliced through a huge patch of skin. Only after I went to the toilet to flush the cut that I saw he actually cut my finger with a flapping bit of flesh attached.

I got so freaked out. He passed me a bit of toilet paper which i used to hold the cut closed. Chinyong came in with a plaster and luther was like "eh plaster no use now leh." If I weren't the one hurt, I'd be laughing. LOL.

Think I sat in the toilet for like 10 minutes. Totally freaked out. Then when I was able to walk, Mrs tay went with me to the doctor's. All he did was clean it and bandage. But the bandage was so sucky, when I woke up this morining, it was gone. So i fashioned my own one.

Now looking at the cut, I think I over-reacted by going all white. Haha..First time my finger got split in my 17 years can't blame me right...haha..

Read a friend's blog, saw a particular line and am now damn sian-ed. But its ok. I got time, I got things to do, I'll just keep it at the back of my mind for now..at least till winds of change blow across the land..

P.S. It sucks typing without lefty index, but at least I can still write..cheers..

2007-01-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

YAY!! Had a great time at Qiang-ge's place where we counted down to the new year!! Welcome 2007!! Goodbye 2006. It's been a great year.

1)I made tons of great new friends this year. We've only met this year and yet it seems that we've known each other for sometime. We mug together and party together!! Really lucky to be in the fun-nest class in MJC!!

2)I got my wish and formed a band. Although we aren't really good yet, I know that we'll get there someday.

3)I didn't lose touch with my old friends. We still meet up to talk cock, sing song, play mahjong. Which is really great!!

4)I didn't fight that much with my sister this year!! Haha..

5)I passed my promos. Barely..LOL..

6)I got over my stage fright. I no longer quake on stage!!

and there's so much more that I'm thankful for.

New year's resolution(s):
1)I shall stop falling asleep in lectures no matter how boring the lecturer is.

2)I shall complete my homework each day(if the mugger club thingy is setup-ed)

3)I shall stop copying homework.

4)I shall learn to control my emotions better so I no longer display everything I feel on my face.

5)I shall not be affected by bitchy-ness and assholey-ness.

Lets hope that these are attainable. LOL..and just maybe I'll be able to figure out whether its a yes or a no..LOL!!!!

Story time!!
Yesterday was spent at Qiang-ge's place where we went after our cip stint at toa payoh HDB hub mall. Not sure if I have updated about the cip. Another story bah. The rest went off earlier to prepare the food for the steamboat, leaving tsz, siok, sarly and I, cause we had to do a last appeal to the public for donations.

I was feeling abit sick at that time, so when there was wind, I'd get super cold. Tsz was nice enough to lend me her jacket to like warm my arms or something. We took a bus to potong pasir mrt stn. On the bus, I pretended to be asleep while tsz and siok were like engaged in a conversation by an intresting auntie. Haha!!

Then we took MRT down to Punggol and changed to the LRT. Like total sua koos, we stared out of the windows of the LRT as it went along. Total intresting-ness, qiang's stop is Meridian!! LOL!!

As we were about to go to qiang's house, something happened. Not going to say what, but its wrong!! Wrong!!!

Then very soon, everyone arrived le. So we started our steamboat party!! The food was sooooo goooooood!!! The prawns were so fresh!! AHHHH!!! Haha...

We used the countdown show as a timer, then we all counted down to 2007. It was a great party, apart from the small issues which totally pissed me off. But since its New Year's Day, I shall not go into small things like that.

We didn't sleep the whole night, 4 guys laughing as they played cards. So now I'm wasted man. Think I'll sleep early and then wake up early tomorrow to study and clear all the homework due on wed!!

A year has passed, a year has gone.
The time we spent shall never be lost.
A new year comes, a new year beckons,
What surprises are in store? We all wonder.
A change of luck, a change of heart?
Time will tell, In the new year's dwell.

2007-01-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

2006-12-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

X'mas pictures cont'd..

These are pictures taken at Marche when we went for lunch.

These are pictures taken on the train as we headed for Nic's place.

Photos taken at nic's place!! Including the prezzie exchange..

And thats the end of the photos..Damn, I'm a day lagged in posting..LOL..

Merry, merry X'mas...(part 1)

2006-12-26T00:13:00.000+08:00

Lonely X'mas? NO!! Best one I've had in my life. Lets start from X'mas eve...

24th Dec 2006

I woke up early to meet the people who were going to do meaningful things on X'mas eve. We went to sell chopsticks in support of the Lions' Home for the Elderly. We had to meet like at 9+ in the morning at tampines small mac in school uniform no less!! So I dragged my lazy bum there only to find...

That I was the first to arrive! WTC!! I'm usually the latest one and here I am being the earliest. One by one they strolled in, Jeremy, yi qiang, tsz shan, siok huey and jastay. Somemore can slowly but breakfast from mac!

hey, its Qiang-ge..

Tszshan not scared fat arh??

Following which, we took a torturous bus ride playing bridge for a part of the journey and sleeping for the rest, all the way to Toa Payoh HDB Hub!! WTC!! Its so stupidly far. Once there, we helped to set up some weird booth thingy and waited for the opening ceremony to be done and over with. There was some stupid thing that we had to wait for the opening ceremony to be over before we begun selling the chopsticks. There was some minor star, Apple Hong(or was it wong?), who sang a song to promote her new album. This was the same person I saw at cineleisure kbox doing another promotion for her new(or not so new) album.

Selling the chopsticks was hard work. Super difficult to get anyone to buy 1 pair at $2 or a set of 6 pairs at $10. The set consists of grandpa/ma, dad and mom, son and daughter..Really cute.
Here's some shots of us working hard, or not...

P.S. there's too many photos and blogger uploading is a bit slow. This part shall be continued later today or tomorrow. Cheers!!

Merry X'mas and a Happy New Year!!

Clara's B'dae Celebration, 23rd Dec '06

2006-12-24T01:32:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning, felt damn shagged man. But still, today her birthday, so boh pian diedie muz go. Since Siu Lun, Carrie, Belle, and even Abel was going. Think Abel abit funny joining us but its ok dude.

Got her a prezzie, a forever friends cushion. Seemed nice and fluffy and huggable. Didn't think of any connotations linked to the print. Then just to pretend to be jerk-ish, I got her a bar of Kitkat choc to pretend that thats her present. The cushion got stuffed into ah belle's bag to hide it. In the end when they saw the choc, I kena whack real hard. Only after I took out the cushion then they stopped ragging me. That was when we were on the train.

Train-moley auntie incident!!!

We were chatting on the train, I had my back to the door and there was this huge luggage blocking the way, when this old lady walked in. After the train begun moving, she lost her balance and grabbed hold of me. I nearly lost my balance, but after I regained it, I turned around to make sure if she was ok. After she got a seat, I returned to the conversation with the rest. Then this moley auntie started scolding us but I didnt pay her any attention as I totally had no idea she was scolding us.

THEN!! All of a sudden, she said damn loudly,"You don't try to be rude arh!" I got a shock as I turned around to see what the matter was. She was like,"You all study so much still got no brains!" I was extremely puzzled so I bochup her lor, then she grumble grumble grumble. Ah belle heard her grumbling and explained that she was blaming us for blocking the entrance and causing the old lady to almost fall. But the train was FULL!!! What the crap. Not like I pushed the old lady when she used me for support. Total nuts man. Could see that carrie and belle were damn pissed. Their faces were damn black.

To me it was like as long as the old lady didnt get hurt and that she got a seat, its fine by me. The auntie didn't even offer her the seat even though it was right beside the exit. Sometimes old folks forget that not all kids who have coloured hair are bad kids. Its such a poor misconception.

But always remember, have respect for your elders even if they are totally rude. They win by pure age itself. Either take it head on or ignore. Never answer back or try to reason. We will lose.

But that couldn't dampen our spirits and we had fun at Kbox singing our lungs out.

Afterwhich, we crashed clara's family's chalet. Here are the photos!!!

me and annabelle. =)

ah belle and abel.

Ahh!! Tired of giving each pic its own caption. Gonna just whack all of it out..

So nice of carrie and clara to get me 2 alien plushies. Carrie got me stitch and clara got me the green alien that has "I'm an alien" on its tummy. Everyone had prezzies..Meaning I gotta go buy for siulun, carrie, belle, and 1 for the exchange at Nic's place tomorrow. Damn tired man. But here's more photos.

Close ups of stitch and the LGA(Little Green Alien).

Such a totally fun day. Shall try to forget the embarressing incident when they forced me to perform some thing on the keyboard ath her chalet. I tried to play Jay's "Qing Tian"(can't find the languagu button on the taskbar), but forgot the midpart. So paiseh...Oh man, its almost 0230 le. I'm so totally wasted. Bed beckons. Cip tml.

Oh btw, here's a damn cool view of the moley auntie.. http://www.chocoffee.blogspot.com/

Wishing all a Merry X'mas eve, X'mas and a happy New Year...=)

cough cough...

2006-12-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

Oh man, I'm coughing my ass off. Doesn't feel good. In fact feels damn shitty.

I went over to Timmy's again! His house is so nice for mugging. And...Xiwen came along!! Haha. Didn't go for training today because I didn't feel up to physical exertion. Mental is ok, physical is not. Ahh!! In the end, didn't manage to do much there. Such a sleepy day. After he went into his sis's room, he fell asleep shortly after. And, I too fell asleep on the sofa in his study. When I woke up, it was like dark outside lah. Had to drag myself to clear up my stuff and go home. Shagged man.

*cough cough..*

Yay!! Went jamming yesterday. Used it as an excuse to wear my new denim jacket. But the weather was so cold. Luckily I wore a jacket. After no jamming for so long, we got so loose. Sian!! Must practice more often guys(and gals)!! Towards the end, I suddenly felt damn sian. Don't really know why. Forgot to bring cam out, so got no new pics..LOL..

*cough cough..*

Currently I am troubled by a persistent throbbing in my cranium. Sian. All the coughing has given me a headache. Shall go check on a friend later.

Rain makes treetops heavy,
streetlamps look droopy and teary.
I stare out of my window,
room feels hollow.
Heart feels empty,
Mind thinks plenty.
Nothing makes sense,
Yet everything does.

no fotos?

2006-12-20T21:45:00.000+08:00

It's not my fault that I have no photos of the class chalet, or for the matter, anything at all. Its just that no one remembered to bring a camera to the chalet. Plus, I forgot to remind myself to bring the camera. LOL...

It's so nice to see them again, my old classmates. For some particular reason(not to be mentioned), I never had much chance to like really bond with the guys. Haha! I'm glad that its so easy to get into the gang again. The people there are really great man, although when they win at mahjong, they really don't give chance and sucked all my $$muhlah$$. Grrr...Lost so much cash. Spent like siao summore. Shucks man, I'm like so broke now. Haiz. Low on cash.

This is so cute. The 2 couples, namely J/S and J/I, look so cute together. Haha. Should have gotten some photos. Too cute. Maybe I should go find myself one too? Nuts!! LOL..

I went over to Timo's place today to mug after wushu training. His house is very nice, with the resort-ish feel to it. We mugged for most of the time, got him to teach me something on the guitar(nothing in the end), and went to play pool. That bugger trashed me at pool lah. Gotta buck up man! I can't keep losing to him. Timo is such a nice guy, just known him for barely a year plus I hardly see him, but like brudders liddat. LOL...

*shoutout*
Hey Nic, Sorry to hear about your grandfudder. Hope he gets much better till he can go cycling again. Thanks for showing me to Timo's place. Eh if that maid give problems again just ask your parents to fire her lah.

Silver mist shrouds the mountain tops,
Reflected upon the shimmering lake below.
Far away, a long journey has just begun.
A single boy, to become a man,
Leaves behind beauty, and seeks pain.
Look not foward but back,
for once known beauty,
be not found but lost in the past.

new..old..

2006-12-17T00:59:00.000+08:00

New skin.

New level of insomnia.

New headaches.

New 17 year olds(Kesleen).

Old homework due. Sian!!!

Old friends gathering. Monday.

New new, Same old.

I look across the street, an old man stares right back at.
How rude, thinking my head.
He draws a gun and blows a hole in my cranium.
No pain? I fell and said.
A story told. Never look across the street.
A hole may form in your head.

Ooooh!! My sprained neck..

2006-12-13T21:10:00.000+08:00

Today. I. Sprained. My. Neck. During. Training.

Totally idiotic of me to forget to use my hands to support during the "50 cent roll". Then, instead, I used my head and ended up with a sprained lower neck/ upper back.

Now typing is a chore. Think I shall have to type lying on my back. LOL.

What a pain in the neck. Then mr timo just returned today. Tomorrow, he run go M'sia for a shopping trip..LOL!!!

JX has church camp this wkend, Timo's gone till sat, Lijing has attachment everyday, xiwen free not free de...I WANT TO START THE SONG LAH!!! SIAN!!

ashes in the sky...fly fly fly
they poke me in the eye.
I scream pain, and get hit by a train,
then they tell me I die??

Wasted my time..

2006-12-11T21:25:00.000+08:00

Went for Wushu training in the morning. Was sooo fun today. We did some cute rolling on the floor(somersaults on mats actually). Then quite fun.

Was totally shagged when I want home. Surprise surprise, my dad was at home. Lazy bum didn't go office again. Then another surprise came. He actually asked if I wanted to go get the new phone today. So I said ok. Duh.

Took a cab down to TM. The stupid queue was so long. It's a monday for crying out loud!! The fella told me my turn would come around 6.15pm. My turn came at 7pm. I reached TM at 3.45pm!!

Halfway through the wait, he had some funny idea of getting himself a new PDA. Okay, so his PDA was rotting but his plan left my phone waiting for a month. So, my going out was a waste of time. In the end, no phone. But I am patient. Better models will appear!! Muahahahaha....

TM is a great place. I met "Kannan shifu" with his gf(I think). Talked cock with them for a while. Then I passingly saw little Alvin (1st 3 mths)!! Still little!!! Also Yichen with very funky hair!!

Feet needs to be rested...In love with a new song today. I shall try to play it on the blog.

Creep - Radiohead!!!

When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
When I don't belong here, wowww wowww

She’s running out again,
She’s running out
She’s run run run running out...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

me...now..??

2006-12-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

Your Emoticon is Sad

You're feeling a tad depressed right now. It will likely pass soon, but for now, you need some major cheering up!

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

No Title...

2006-12-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

Here's a simple cover of my past few days. I was kinda sick with some weird flu bug, but I still went for trainings. Not very smart. Then on friday, my left eyelid swelled till I had 1 eye big, 1 eye small. Slept like a total pig for the next few days. Now should be ok.

I don't know how to put this down. Anger is something that I'd prefer to release within seconds of gaining it. Years of getting angry and staying angry didn't get me anywhere. Maybe, it is a useless emotion. Ahhh heck...Burn your balls off asshole...

Winter Wonderland

Sleigh bells ring
are you listening
in the lane
snow is glistening
A beautiful sight
we're happy tonight
walking in a winter wonderland

Gone away is the bluebird
here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song
as we go along
walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
we'll say: No man
But you can do the job
when you're in town

Later on
we'll conspire
as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid
the plans that we've made
walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
and pretend that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman
until the alligators knock him down

When it snows
ain't it thrilling
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play
the Eskimo way
walking in a winter wonderland

Walking in a winter wonderland
walking in a winter wonderland

So who is gonna walk with me?...walking in a winter wonderland..

Cheers..

Sniff?

2006-12-06T21:43:00.000+08:00

yahman, I feel damn sick man. Head feels fluffy and stuffed, nose sometimes got drought sometimes flood. Went for Wushu training today, too long never really trained, felt so drained.

Aiyo, tomorrow got some weird day camp thingy, plus training. What the crap lah! Although it should be fun, but if I feel too sickly, might just not go lah.

Current situation: Nose feels stuffed, head+eyelids heavy.
Action-to-be-taken: Sleep before 2200 hrs.

Before that, think I shall do some links..

cheers..=)

Not today

2006-12-05T23:37:00.001+08:00

Not gonna blog today..

cheers..=)

2006-12-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

Think about this. I'M ROTTING!!! Oh man. Pieces of flesh dropping off my body. Flies hovering above my rotting living flesh. Maggots crawling all over the dank areas.

Okay, so that was pure crap. Shit, I'm so fricking bored. I stopped work at my dad's office since this week, to like kinda mug, but its so darn boring. Anyway I think I more or less understood what goes on in the office. So, if I decide to like not find a job next time, I'll go do the company. YAH RIGHT!! AS IF I'D GO THERE TO GET SCOLDED AND DRAW MINIMUM WAGE!! Siao..

Can I bitch about some people that really really suck? Yes!! Its my own frickin' blog!!! Haha..

Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...
(Paiseh lah, not suitable for innocent eyes)
...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch...Bitch... That should be enough..=)

My sorta youngish Grand Uncle, he's damn young, lent me like a couple of "Get Rich" books to read when we went to visit him. He busted a ligament in his knee. Poor fella. As the stories go, he was like a total havoc person when he was younger. Now so mellow. Incredible. Time changes people.

I'm not a deep person. I like to think that at times I am capable of cheem thoughts. Haha. Depth of thought depends on how deep you are gonna dive down, isn't it?

2006-12-03T21:54:00.000+08:00

Today I shall not talk crap about how a boring day in my life went. But instead shall contemplate the meaning to one not being able to know what one wants.

Do you ever know what you want? Is your mind that certain of something that you know that you'd go all out to achieve it or make it yours?

If yes, you are either totally in sync with your inner self (a lie), or totally deluding yourself. Ok, so I'm biased. But who isn't? I can truthfully say that I never know what I want. It must jump out at me from a pile of the same stuff for me to feel like I want it.

If thats the case, wouldn't life be slow moving with you not knowing what you want? Yes, I'd say. Plus you sometimes regret when you finally figure out that you prefer the other option to the one you took. But time travel is not an option. Roll with it!!

Life dishes out shitty choices and sometimes there's only one choice to take anyway, so don't believe any one that says that you always have a choice in life. Also, the time given to you to make that choice is never enough, is it? Roll with it!!

A wrong turn? Explore the place! A wrong item bought? Use it! A totally life trashing choice? First make a hell lot of noise about it and then make do!! There's nothing wrong with complaining. Just don't overdo it, and after that, accept or change.

Also, its okay to be afraid. I'm afraid, that's why I dare not ask. Missed damn paiseh you know. Then if hit but later snaps, even worse. Plus, the bullseye keeps moving, hard to aim.

Lets just see how it goes for another month or so. Maybe, before then, I'll go nuts and shoot, or a rock will fall out of the sky with an inscription telling me what to do...Lets hope its the rock.

Byebye for now.

2006-11-30T23:30:00.000+08:00

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

2006-11-30T23:26:00.000+08:00

Your 2005 Song Is

Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz

"Love forever love is free.
Let's turn forever you and me."

In 2005, you were loving life and feeling no pain.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

2006-11-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

You Communicate With Your Body

This isn't as bad as it sounds, it just means that you're a "touchy-feely" person.

You need a lot of affection in your life. And for you, this means both giving and receiving little touches.

Warm hearted, you bond with people easily. In fact, you often feel a little sad when you're not in the company of others.

A little moody, you tend to be controlled by your emotions. But a bit hug always comforts you!

How Do You Communicate?

2006-11-28T22:41:00.000+08:00

Sian..another day spent rotting in the office. Doing accounts and spreadsheets is super boring. Plus there's not many ppl online, so time was spent talking to Kam. Kam is the like most god-like employee of my Dad's. He totally pao-ka-liao 1. Company systems and stuff all he do out. Totally in awe man. Pretty friendly guy too. Another nice guy there is Faisal. Faisal is like the guy that looks after or handles the workers directly. Small man, black belt in silat. No joke. Gave me a shock when I saw his photo. He is so nice. Asked for a lift to the nearest MRT station, he sent me home! Think he want to eat snake only lah but still... lets go back in time to tsz shan's birthday...yesterday (actually since I'm doing this on wed, it should read 2 days ago)...27 Nov 2006...

Went down to Tanah Merah stn as the relay said. The first person I saw was jastay, but the stupid bugger didn't put on his blardy glasses (want to act cool) so he looked at me like I was a total stranger. Dumb arse. So we waited for God knows who. Then, out of no where, qiang ge appeared. This one damn smart. He bought Teh (hot, mind you), and because he was thirsty, drank straight out of a straw!!! Then he can say, "My tongue can't feel anything." or "I can't taste anything." (something along those lines) Was super funny. The train pulled in and out tumbled ah thor, sarly, da ge and kes. So we kinda walked towards cass's house in the rain.

When we got there, pretty much just rotted for 1-2 hours put waiting for the rest to appear. Lagi best!! While playing pool with the guys, the security guard came in and was like "eh u all don'ch put your thing all over the place. I just now kena FUCKED by the council member you noe." That idiot kept saying he kena fucked over and over again. The way teck teng ji seowed the guard was priceless man.

We made tsz change out of her pretty dress so we could prank her. Took the cake, lit the candles, sang b'dae song, poured water all over her, threw her into the pool, nearly threw bx in the pool, took fotos...you know stuff like that..

So we messed about till like 10 plus, when this cute boy came into the room. Then thor and kes were like so cute and was carrying him around. Should have taken foto lah, if u liked him so much. Haha..not so bright.

Lastly, to friends travelling for their vacations, have a safe and fun trip guys!! Bring back stuff hor..=)

A time for travel, a time for fun,
Just remember friends, ho hum.

2006-11-23T09:47:00.000+08:00

Office Blogger...

Right now, I'm in the office blogging instead of doing my accounts of the years' petty cash. Haha..Eat snake. Actually, I'm just taking advantage of the ultra fast internet connection in the office.

I am learning stuff in the office but its so damn boring. Plus my pay totally sucks.

WARNING!! NEVER WORK FOR YOUR PARENTS!!

Oh yah, I just remembered what I was gonna blog about. I'm a very confused person at times. Now I need to clarify some stuff with myself. That time during the class chalet, I think I made a mistake. Now, I think that every girl is different that is why they appeal in different ways. However, I don't think I am that capable of liking every girl I meet. Especially now since I'm in a state of confusion.

I thought that I would have the answer when I came back from vacation. Seems that I need more time. Don't blame me for seeing whats good in a person and for stupidly believing that everyone, deep down inside, is really nice.

Actually, this is a continuation of a prior post which I saved as a draft. Can't really remember what I was feeling that day. But since I can't remember my feelings yesterday, it's not much of a surprise.

On a sunny day, I wish for rain.

Windy as the clouds roll by, I wish for rain.

Clear blue skies overhead, I wish for rain.

I wish for rain, but still I enjoy the sun.

As simple a contradiction,

I penned this piece, an assumption?

2006-11-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

Time to blog again. Finally got around to doing another post that nobody wil read. But do I really want anybody to read this? Think I'll leave this debate for another time.
Had my actual OP today. Was the 3rd group to present. Tell you, sitting there through 2 presentations is damn nervewracking man. After they presented, I felt super tired even though all I did was sit there and more or less rot.
Super stupid episode. During Q&A, Kingston had no idea what he was going on about and still he pushed his point onto Mr Cheong. Wah seh! Mr Cheong's face was so blardy black lah! Kingston kena shot like dog. Parting words,"Young man, remember this for life. If you don't know what you are talking about, Don't try to smoke your way through." Wah! Then Lavi was up next. Could tell that she was like damn nervous as Mr Cheong face super black. Luckily for her, he was nice enough to give a not-so-tough question for her.
I don't know why, but before my presentation, I was damn nervous! Like totally jittery and stuff. But when my turn came (I was the 1st presentor of my roup), I felt I did quite well. The cue cards I prepared the night before was like useless coz after the third card, I lost track of where I was and just sort of didn't use the cards after that. What a waste of effort.
After the OP, supposed to go watch movie. We went to Pastamania for lunch and then just for no reason, didn't watch anything. Total waste of time. Nic was so disappointed. Haiz, I'll make it up to you Bro! Just went home to stone till now. Just now kept trying to break the expert level of Minesweeper! But dammit, I only managed to clear till like there were 40+ bombs left. Best score but doesn't count. SIAN!!!
Finished watching Law of Ueki on Youtube recently. Then I watched the first episode of Marchen Awakens Romance on cable, so now I'm gonna watch MAR on Youtube. Oh yah, Ah Thor was supposed to like update me on some stuff. Shit, I trust people too much. It's almost 12 and still there's no sms? There's no trust in this world anymore man. Thought I could trust these people. Turd!! haha.. Man, I'm nuts man..cuckoo!! That's why they call me birdhead?? All that Teck Teng's(OGL)fault.
I'm so frickin' bored. There's nothing to do. Rotting sucks. Think I shall go disturb some people.

2006-11-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

Time to blog again. Finally got around to doing another post that nobody wil read. But do I really want anybody to read this? Think I'll leave this debate for another time.

Had my actual OP today. Was the 3rd group to present. Tell you, sitting there through 2 presentations is damn nervewracking man. After they presented, I felt super tired even though all I did was sit there and more or less rot.

Super stupid episode. During Q&A, Kingston had no idea what he was going on about and still he pushed his point onto Mr Cheong. Wah seh! Mr Cheong's face was so blardy black lah! Kingston kena shot like dog. Parting words,"Young man, remember this for life. If you don't know what you are talking about, Don't try to smoke your way through." Wah! Then Lavi was up next. Could tell that she was like damn nervous as Mr Cheong face super black. Luckily for her, he was nice enough to give a not-so-tough question for her.

I don't know why, but before my presentation, I was damn nervous! Like totally jittery and stuff. But when my turn came (I was the 1st presentor of my roup), I felt I did quite well. The cue cards I prepared the night before was like useless coz after the third card, I lost track of where I was and just sort of didn't use the cards after that. What a waste of effort.

After the OP, supposed to go watch movie. We went to Pastamania for lunch and then just for no reason, didn't watch anything. Total waste of time. Nic was so disappointed. Haiz, I'll make it up to you Bro! Just went home to stone till now. Just now kept trying to break the expert level of Minesweeper! But dammit, I only managed to clear till like there were 40+ bombs left. Best score but doesn't count. SIAN!!!

Finished watching Law of Ueki on Youtube recently. Then I watched the first episode of Marchen Awakens Romance on cable, so now I'm gonna watch MAR on Youtube. Oh yah, Ah Thor was supposed to like update me on some stuff. Shit, I trust people too much. It's almost 12 and still there's no sms? There's no trust in this world anymore man. Thought I could trust these people. Turd!! haha.. Man, I'm nuts man..cuckoo!! That's why they call me birdhead?? All that Teck Teng's(OGL)fault.

I'm so frickin' bored. There's nothing to do. Rotting sucks. Think I shall go disturb some people.

2006-10-30T00:23:00.000+08:00

An awkward silence permeates the air
A pause gets caught in his throat
She's just playing with her hair
Oblivious to his sudden croak.

In the train they stood
In his head, lines went pooot.
Thinking to himself, what am I to say now?
As she looks out of the window, What a cow.

Ding Dong, goes the bell.
Doors slide open, she looks at him
"Well?

He stumbles and trips over his own feet
Landing face first at her feet,
He smiles and grins,
A miserable Feat.

ok..that was crap..totally random..

2006-10-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

2006-10-29T17:48:00.000+08:00

why can i only post 4 pics?..

2006-10-29T17:46:00.000+08:00

here are some fotos..last friday night...

2006-10-28T01:12:00.000+08:00

2006-10-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

The time now is 0009 Hrs. So technically, its Ah Thor's birthday. Being the nice me, I sent her a pm. Haha. Yesterday (just a few hours ago), we went to Sunplaza Park at Tampines to like sort of celebrate her b'dae so make use of the Hari Raya holiday.

Morning supposedly had a PW meeting at 8. Horrors! I woke up at 8++. SO DAMN LATE!! But in the end, it only lasted till like 10 plus. Being bored, I forced Sarly to like hurry Tsz and Thor to get out of their houses to meet us. Wah liew, the two pigs took almost an hour to get there lah. Then we went to buy stuff and decorated the amphitheater.

Eat, Talk and played. The Girls prepared some retailation against whatever Jason had planned. They added food essence and colouring into their water bombs and planted it behind the stage. Also had plates of cream but in the end, ants attacked those. Anyway it was too gross to use.

Best part of the water bomb war. I hid behind a bush then flung a water bomb directly at Jason and ducked immediately. He was so shocked, I was laughing so hard. He totally did not expect such a shot out of the blue. In the end I passed my last water bomb to Tsz for her to kinda have more against Phira and Nic. Jason threw his last bomb at me, but I DUCKED IT! Haha, Loser. He got me in the back with the super soaker anyway.

They whacked Thor with flour. The whole place was covered in flour. We spen like hours cleaning up the mess. Went for dinner, talked cock. Home.

Sleepy. But still gotta find readings for IS. Shall not distract myself further. Haha..

A rain of flour coated her hair,
Water from the sky turned it to dough.
Plastered against her head,
A helmet, Made of Bread.

2006-10-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

Went to watch Death Note today with the usual 3 girls, Sarly, Crystal, Yan Han and Nic. Was rather interesting. Didn't really follow the manga but was good enough.

It was damn irritating lor. First, when we got to TM, there was a sort of a long queue and there it was, our expected timing in RED!!! By the time it got to us, ALL THE TICKETS WERE GONE!!! So irritated. Then someone suggested for us to go watch Silk but the stupid GV at TM doesn't have Silk.

We trudged over to Century Square cineplex to look at the timings lah. Something was really wrong with me. I was looking at 1920 hrs and I said, "Eh, Tsz Shan, 4 .20 leh, you want to watch?" She stared at me like I was nuts. Haha.

In the end we went back to TM to watch the uber expensive $9.50 6pm show, and really burned time walking around. Now my feet hurts.

Tomorrow is Ah Thor's B'dae plus in the morning I have to go do PW. My IS (independent study) proposal isn't ready yet. Meeting Dr. Alfi on Wed 11am. followed by OP dry run in the afternoon. Maybe I shouldn't go tomorrow.

Burning in my soul, the words i never told,
Skimming the surface of this place,
A knife flies out and stabs your face,
Sending you back into the cold.

2006-10-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

Oh man..It took like forever to get this page loaded...

This half post is for day of yester. I was pissed and fustrated because I didn't know why I was pissed and fustrated. Think it was my inability to get pass this particular boss in the game.(FF8 disc 3/4 Adel) Then the thought of starting somewhere to up my character's level was so tedious. Ah! What the heck. Yesterday is yesterday. Lets do Today.

Today was as usual, uneventful. I've been eating alot recently. Looks like I'm getting fat. Gotta start exercising. Slack to much. Then went blog surfing. Oh man, Ah Thor's b'dae is cuming up. Shall I be a cheapo and just wish her happy b'dae? Nah, think I'll drag susanto and timo and errr...to get her a present. How nice of me. Yucks. luckily nobody reads this blog o' mine.

Then that crystal keeps bugging me to tell her which girl I like. Bad judgement on my part to let her see the blog. Or maybe I wanted her to see it? Or am I just nuts? what type? cashew or walnut? camel? laalalaa..
Long post or short post? Read some chick book "Can you keep a secret?". Rather blunt usage of language, but darn funny. Seems like guys can get bitchy too. Shall learn some tricks I picked up from that book. I'm getting sleepy.

Hey, if u happen to read this blog, can you not tell anyone? Keep it a secret ok? *wink wink*

2006-10-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

heyhey!! think its time to reveal my secret blog which no one noes about!!(apart from some kaypo ppl). Haha!!

First up..today sucked. Like as in morning, I realised that I was a huge idiot and went to sch late..thot it started at 8.45am den realised it was supposed to be 7.30. Took a cab and rushed down to sch. Luckily, there were many cabs around. Totally missed the first part where Mr cheong was going thru paper 1...Den got my paper 2 first..did rather well i suppose..43/60 but logic sucked man..31/60...so like over all i got A for promo for KI i think..

next up was chinese!! surprise surprise!! i got an A!!!haha... now damn sian to stpy so much le..wanna go watch stuart..flunking math..

KI - B
CHI - A
MATH - S..

all im missing is -tard..haha...ok byebye..

2006-07-17T14:20:00.000+08:00

Intresting how my first post would not be read by anybody, at least for awhile anyways. I forgot the reason I set up this blog for. Doesn't really matter. I need a venue for me to just say things that if said out loud would hurt others.

Hmmm...I feel rather bad missing YH's performance that day after jamming with the rest, but I was really tired. He seemed rather mad after that.

Jamming that day was soooo not fun. My voice was shot and T wasnt there. Felt so evil. Then realised that JX wouldn't be in town on the day of the performance. Now we have to find another replacement drummer. And Mr. H doesn't really like the next choice A. Dang, I have to make the difficult choices that in 1 way or another will affect people. Inevitable.

Haha...I sound so incoherent. There's no flow to my ideas.

Today's my mother's b'dae. Thought it was tommorrow. Made her a simple card and my sis got my bum of a dad to get a cake. She didn't care much for the cake.

Can't keep rambling away in fustration. Have to complete my EOM and finish research for KI. Really did myself in by choosing that dumb topic.

Think I'll be back much sooner than expected.

The night comes, shadows fall across the land,
A single figure stands alone,
Stark contrast against the rising moon
A tree shuts out the glow that devours that which it touches
Anger that has no place in the nighttime,
Doused by the starry sky.